Top Ten BS Expressions That I Have Grown to Love

In no particular order;
“Evil-doers”. One of my favorites. This is how any number of politicians and bureaucrats now refer to terrorists.
Why I love it: It makes me feel like I’m living in a Batman comic book.
“Here on the ground”. Journalists use this expression instead of “over here” or “here in LA” to sound like they’re carrying out an assignment on par with an important military campaign.
Why I love it: Because they’re probably covering the release of Paris Hilton’s most recent sex tape.
“At the end of the day”. Used by those in a debate who don’t want to discuss any inconvenient details, as in “we can argue about the meaning of the data, but at the end of the day, global warming will destroy the earth as we know it, including every man, woman, and child up to and including your favorite pet”.
Why I love it. After they use this, whatever you say really doesn’t matter, does it?
“Special interests”. Used by politicians (especially President Obama) to demonize people who disagree with them as in “special interests would have you believe that what I am proposing is radical”.
Why I love it. Because it’s so transparent. What to you are special interests are to me groups that are representing my concerns (banks, small businesses, investors, taxpayers, the middle class, doctors, capitalists). But to me, your constituents are MY special interests (labor unions, the NEA, trial attorneys, socialists, connected corporations). You may as well stand at the top of the Washington Monument and scream “I am a hypocrite”.
“We’ve run out of time”. Used when the anchorperson or host of a news show is getting destroyed by the guest that he or she intended to steamroll, as in “well, Bob, you may be right about Congress, Fannie Mae, Freddie Mac, and irresponsible borrowers bearing some responsibility for the financial collapse, but really, most of the blame has to fall on Wall Street, doesn’t it? We’ve run out of time. Please come again, Bob.”
Why I love it. If a host makes a final statement right before saying “We’ve run out of time”, it’s a clear indication that he or she has an agenda and they have not been successful in moving it forward.
“That might make for a good sound bite”. Another Obama favorite, as in “some say that this 1300 page financial regulation bill is too complex and cumbersome and will stifle the private sector. That might make for a good sound bite, but . . “.
Why I love it. It’s beautiful. Much like the “special interests” expression, it says that you’re playing politics while I, of course, am concerned about nothing but the elevation of all mankind. So there really is no reason for me to consider your objection as an expression of concern based on principle.
“We have more work to do.” Another expression used by politicians.
Why I love it. It’s like an alarm system for your wallet.
“That’s old news.” Said with a heavy sigh, it implies that all possible questions have been answered, even when the questions just surfaced yesterday.
Why I love it. This was the Clintons at the very top of their game. I used to watch them use this expression with a feeling of total awe as they played the vaunted White House press corp like marionettes. Hillary was even better than Bill with this ploy – and that is some world class bullshit. It went down something like this; heavy sigh as she looks at the questioner with a mixture of condescension and pity, “Pete, do we really have to discuss that the subpoenaed Rose Law Firm billing records were found open on the desk in my study? That’s old news”.
Next question.
“I’ll have to look into that.” Translation; wow, that’s a really inconvenient fact that I’d rather not deal with. Double whammy; not only do they not have to engage you in debate, they are also implying that you are either stupid or making it up.
Why I love it. It’s the most democratic of all BS expressions. Used by know-nothings in kitchen table debates as well as by world leaders at press conferences. Example; “You talk about the rich not paying their fair share. You do realize that the top 5% of taxpayers pay 57% of all income taxes, and the bottom 50% pay only 3%?”.
“Well, I’ll have to look into that”.
“I take full responsibility.” After I was caught red-handed.
Why I love it. Because after saying this you don’t have to do anything like make amends, pay damages, or forfeit the fruits of your success. Example; after A-Rod lied about taking steroids for almost 10 years, evidence surfaced that he’d been juicing since high school as well as in the pros. But hey, he took responsibility and apologized, so he gets to keep all of his records, as well as his $250M contract. How about donating 5 or 10 million bucks to baseball teams in depressed neighborhoods to help make up for the awful example that you set?
The supply is almost unlimited, isn’t it? All suggestions for adding to the list are welcome.

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